Whose Time Period is it Anyway?
by ArtikGato
Summary: Whose Line Is It Anyway but with an anime twist! Kagome, Inuyasha, Kenshin and Malik compete in improv games for points that don't really matter...
1. Default Chapter

**Whose Time Period Is It Anyway?**

Disclaimer: I don't own ANY anime (yet...mwahahahaha!), including _Rurouni__ Kenshin, _Inuyasha_, __Yu-Gi-Oh! or anything else that I may have mentioned in this story. _

Host: Sanosuke

Contestants: Kagome, Inuyasha, Kenshin, Malik

Audience: random people from the shows

Sanosuke: Good evening everyone, and welcome to Whose Time Period is it Anyway?! On tonight's show...

From our time period...Kagome Higurashi! (Kagome is glaring at Inuyasha)

From the Sengoku Jidai...Inuyasha...um...Inuyasha! (Inuyasha is glaring at Kagome)

From the Meiji Revolution...Kenshin Himura! (Kenshin is looking clueless)

and...

From Ancient Egypt...Malik Ishtar! (Malik is polishing his Millennium Rod lovingly)

And I'm your host, Sanosuke Sagara! Come on down, let's have some fun!

Crowd: (cheers wildly)

Sanosuke: (sits down at his desk) Good evening everyone and welcome to Whose Time Period is it Anyway?, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right; the points are just like threats to Naraku. They just don't matter...

Inuyasha part of crowd: (laughs)

Sanosuke: Okay, let's start this show off with a game called...Unlikely Superheroes! I'll have Kenshin start the game off, and then the rest of the contestants will enter one at a time, each being named by the person before them. (Kenshin moves to the center of the stage and the other three move to the right of the stage.) Okay, now I need a name for Kenshin. (turns to audience)

Jaken: Super Jaken!

Sanosuke: No!

Miho: The Incredible Edible Egg!

Sanosuke: *snickers* Okay, that will work. Now we need a crisis for The Incredible Edible Egg!

Sanosuke: The world has no more hot sauce!

Sanosuke: All right... (turns back to Kenshin) The world has no more hot sauce, The Incredible Edible Egg! What will you do? (receives glare from Battousai Kenshin)

Kenshin: (pretends to enter a room and examine himself in a mirror) Oh no! I have a crack in my beautiful shell!! (frantically pretends to superglue himself, and glances at a tv) Wha? (stares at the tv) The world is out of hot sauce? Oh no!!

(Inuyasha enters from the right)

Inuyasha: I got here as soon as I can!

Kenshin: Thank God you're here, Catman!

Audience: (giggles)

Inuyasha: (growls) These are DOG ears!!

Kenshin: (snickers) I know. 

Inuyasha: (back in character) Yes, it is I, Catman, sister to Catwoman! (meows and pretends to lick his hand)

Kenshin: Have you heard? The world is out of hot sauce!

(Kagome enters)

Kagome: Sorry I was late, but the world is out of hot sauce...and yes, that IS a good excuse!

Audience & Sanosuke: (laughs)

Inuyasha: Oh goodness! It's Skydiver Girl!

Kagome: (suddenly spreads her limbs out and pretends to be falling) What are we going to do about the hot sauce crisis?!

Kenshin: I wish I knew!! It is especially important to me because hot sauce is a condiment that goes well with my egg brethren!

Inuyasha: And hot sauce spices up that dry and tasteless cat food!

Kagome: When I'm not skydiving, I like to eat hot sauce plain out of the jar!! (everyone looks at her) What?!

Malik: (enters) I'm here. (rolls his eyes)

Kagome: Wow, it's Antelope Man!

Malik: (glares at her but goes into character anyway) Baaa! (gets on all fours and trots around) Baaa!

Sanosuke: Huh. Do antelopes go 'baaa'?

Malik: I have the solution!! Let's all move to Hawaii!! It's always hot there, so normal sauce will become hot sauce!! (trots away)

Kagome: Good idea Antel-- (suddenly mimics being blown away by a sudden gust of wind)

Inuyasha: (suddenly jerks his head off to the side and looks at Sanosuke) TUNA!!! (runs toward Sanosuke)

Kenshin: ^_^ Another crisis averted by The Incredible Edible Egg!

**buzz**

Sanosuke: Okay, that was good! Hee hee. A thousand points to Malik for getting down on all fours.

Malik: ^_^

Sanosuke: Minus one thousand points for the Hawaii bit.

Malik: -_-

Sanosuke: Well, before Malik kills me, let's move on to a game called...Ninety Second Alphabet!! This is for all four contestants. In this game, they have to start each sentence with a letter of the alphabet, and they have to go in order of the alphabet until they come back to the letter that they started at. Starting with what letter?

Sesshomaru: S!

Sanosuke: *sighs* Redundant, but whatever. Okay, we're starting with S. The scene is...Kenshin and Kagome are out on a date, when Inuyasha and Malik, who both like Kagome, arrive. 

Audience: (laughs at the cruel irony while Inuyasha glares at Sanosuke and Malik looks appalled)

(Kenshin and Kagome go to the center of the stage)

Kenshin: So...how are you liking the restaurant so far?

Kagome: Too dark for my tastes, personally.

Kenshin: Under all of these black curtains are bright, happy colors.

Kagome: Very peculiar, that is.

Kenshin: Well...why don't we order?

Kagome: ....

(pause)

(Inuyasha runs in)

Inuyasha: X marks the spot!

Kagome: You've found us! Oh no!

(another pause)

(Malik walks up and pretends to be shocked)

Malik: Zoinks! What are you doing here?

Kagome: Actually, I'm having dinner with Kenshin.

Inuyasha: But...but...

Kenshin: Can't you guys come back some other time?

Malik: Don't you start, samurai boy!

Kagome: Enough!! What are you two doing here?

Inuyasha: For your information, we're here looking for you!

Malik: Got that right!

Kenshin: How is it that you two always show up at the wrong time?

Kagome: I've had just about enough of you two!

Malik: Just what are you insinuating? That we stalk you?

Inuyasha: (elbows Malik) Keep quiet, moron!

Kenshin: Let's get out of here, Kagome.

Malik: Moron?! You're nothing but a stupid dog!

Inuyasha: No one calls me a stupid dog!

Malik: Oh yeah?!

Kagome: (whispers to Kenshin) Perhaps we'd be better off staying.

Kenshin: Quite possibly.

Inuyasha: Right! Well you're just nothing but a little--

Kagome: SIT!! (Inuyasha is thrown to the ground by his magical necklace just as Sanosuke rings the buzzer)

(they all return to their seats)

Sanosuke: One thousand points to Kagome for saying 'Sit'.

Audience: (laughs)

Inuyasha: (grumbles)

Kagome: (glares at him) SITSITSITSITSIT!! (Inuyasha is slammed to the ground repeatedly)

Sanosuke: Okay, our next game is one of my favorites...Scenes from a Hat! (crowd cheers) This game is for Inuyasha and Kenshin, Kagome and Malik)

(contestants split up and go to their sides of the stage)

Audience: (cheers)

Sanosuke: For this game, I asked the audience before the show to write down suggestions for scenes that they would like to see the contestants perform, and then I put them in this hat. (produces a sparkly green tacky looking hat.) And the first scene is... (draws suggestion) "Ways to Kill Jaken".

(Inuyasha runs on stage and draws the Tetsusaiga, cackling maniacally) **buzz**

(Malik runs on stage and brandishes his Millennium Rod, cackling maniacally) **buzz**

(Kagome runs on stage and magically produces her bow & arrows, cackling maniacally) **buzz**

(Kenshin turns Battousai and draws his kitana, cackling maniacally) **buzz buzz buzz**

Sanosuke: Okay... "Gatorade flavors that didn't make it to retail".

(Kagome walks on stage.)

Kagome: Nothing tastes better than Grass flavored Gatorade, new this summer! **buzz**

(Inuyasha walks on stage.)

Inuyasha: Ahh, S**t flavored Gatorade is the BEST!!

Audience, Sanosuke & Other Contestants: (crack up) **buzz**

(Malik walks on stage)

Malik: Blood flavored Gatorade, for all you vampires and Yami Bakura!

Audience & Sanosuke: (laughs)

Yami Bakura: (cackles diabolically) **buzz buzz buzz**

Sanosuke: Next..."Outtakes from _Rurouni__ Kenshin"_.

(Kenshin walks on stage.)

Kenshin: Now I will kill you, Shishio! (attempts to draw his sword but pretends it's stuck.) **buzz**

(Kagome and Malik walk on stage.)

Malik: *mocking Kenshin* Kaoru-dono...

Kagome: *mocking Kaoru* Yes, Kenshin?

Malik: *still mocking Kenshin* I THINK YOU'RE HOT!! **buzz** (Kenshin is red faced.)

Audience, Sanosuke & Other Contestants: (crack up)

(Malik and Kagome walk back on stage.)

Kagome: *mocking Misao* Oh lord Aoshi!!

Malik: *mocking Aoshi* AGH!! Stay away, demon!! (runs off followed by Kagome) **buzz**

Sanosuke: Okay, that's enough of that. *clears throat* "Things that the _Inuyasha_ cast members would never say."

(Kagome walks on stage.)

Kagome: $%#%^&#$&^$%^&$!!

Rest of the Contestants: (look shocked)

Audience & Sanosuke: (cracks up)

(Kenshin walks on stage.)

Kenshin: (imitating Kagome) Oh Inuyasha I love you! **buzz**

(Malik walks on stage.)

Malik: (mocking Inuyasha) Oh Kagome I love you! **buzz**

Audience: (laughs)

(Inuyasha and Kenshin walk on stage.)

Inuyasha: Dear older brother, oh how I've missed you so!

Kenshin: (mocking Sesshomaru) And how I've missed you, dear younger brother! (they hug) **buzz buzz buzz**

Sanosuke: Okay, that's enough scenes from a hat. 

Audience: (snickers)

Sanosuke: Let's move on to 'Let's Make a Date!' Kagome will be a contestant on a dating type show hoping to be picked by the three bachelors, who all have strange quirks or identities written on the cards, and she has to guess what is on the cards. The cards have never been seen before, and they are totally random. All right, start the game!

Kagome: Bachelor Number one...I like to take long walks on the beach. What do you like to do for fun?

Malik: *THINKS HE'S A MOTH* Well...I like to fly around looking for light, and fly into it head-first with no regard for my safety. (runs around flapping his arms madly)

Kagome: Okaaaay...Bachelor Number two...same question.

Inuyasha: *THINKS HE'S MALIK* Well...I like to polish gold, and plot to take over the world. (gets insane look and cackles diabolically) YOU WILL DIE, YUGI MUTOU!!

Kagome: Umm...yeaaah...Bachelor Number three! What is your idea of a fun night?

Kenshin: *POLICEMAN IN SEARCH OF THE INFAMOUS 'WHITE HAIRED GANG'* Well, I like to sneak into secret hideouts and chase down... (notices Inuyasha) GASP!!! IT'S YOU!! THE LEADER!! (attempts to arrest Inuyasha)

Inuyasha: (pretends to brandish the Millennium Rod) BACK OFF!! Can't you see that my hair is a beautiful shade of BLONDE?!

Kagome: Right. Bachelor Number one...BACHELOR NUMBER ONE!! (Malik 'flies' over)

Malik: Yes?

Kagome: What kind of place would you take me on my date?

Malik: Somewhere dark, but with several different light sources so that I can fly into all of them!

Kagome: Bachelor Number two...same question.

Inuyasha: Oh, I would probably take you back to Ancient Egypt, when I was MUCH more powerful than that BLASTED PHARAOH!!

Kagome: (rolls eyes) Bachelor Number three...if I were an ice cream flavor, I would be vanilla. What flavor would you be?

Kenshin: Black Walnut...yeesss...black...the opposite of white... (notices Ryou Bakura, Yami Bakura, Sesshomaru, and various other white-haired bishounen in the audience) I'VE FOUND YOU!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! (runs up and tries to arrest them.)

Kagome: Umm...yeah. 

Kenshin: (drags Ryou Bakura onto the stage and forces him to lie face down) Now tell me, what are you and your cronies doing here?!

Ryou: Umm...I don't know?

Kenshin: ARGH!! (returns to his stool) **buzz buzz buzz**

Sanosuke: Okay, Kagome, now you have to try and guess who or what they are.

Kagome: (rolls eyes) Okay...Malik was...a moth or a bat?

Sanosuke: A moth! Correct!

Kagome: Inuyasha was Malik...

Sanosuke: Correct again!

Kagome: And Kenshin was a cop arresting all of the people with long white hair?

Sanosuke: Close enough! A thousand points to Kagome for guessing them all!

(they return to their seats)

Sanosuke: And a million points to Ryou Bakura! (camera goes to Ryou, who smiles and waves) Okay, we'll find out who the winner is...after this commercial break!

COMMERCIAL

(Miroku walks out)

Miroku: Hi, I'm Miroku. I am a monk. (close-up on his face) I would like to ask a favor of all you young single women out there, aged from 16 to 30. Would one of you PLEASE bear my child?! I have a curse that will not be lifted until the defeat of a powerful demon, and I would simply like to pass on my family name!

(ArtikGato walks out)

ArtikGato: Okay, hentai, your time is up. (snaps her fingers and two of Pegsy's guards come out and drag him away)

Miroku: SOMEONE PLEASE BEAR MY CHILD!!!!

FADE OUT

ANOTHER COMMERCIAL

(Fades in to reveal Seto Kaiba in his spiffy Battle City gear with a Duel Disk on his arm and a picture of the Blue Eyes White Dragon behind him)

Seto: Hello, everyone. I am Seto Kaiba, the world's greatest duelist, and I am challenging you! That's right, I'm challenging you to compete in my world renowned Battle City tournament, being held exactly one week from now in Domino City! Bring your best cards and your brains, because both will be needed in the upcoming tournament! Joey Wheeler need not apply...he has neither, you know. 

FADE OUT

YET ANOTHER COMMERCIAL

(Jonouchi walks on stage)

Jonouchi: Hi, I'm Jonouchi, NOT Joey Wheeler like some of you Americans and Kaiba might believe. I'm just here to say that SETO KAIBA SUCKS!!! NYAAAAH!!

(Seto fangirls rush the stage and try to kill Jonouchi, but Jonouchi fangirls fight them off)

FADE OUT

BACK ON THE SHOW

Sanosuke: Tonight's winner is...Kenshin Himura! (shot of Kenshin lounging in Sanosuke's desk) The rest of us are going to play a game for you called...props!! In props, we have to use random props as many ways as possible, starting with...Inuyasha and Malik!

*INUYASHA AND MALIK HAVE TWO OVER-SIZED TURTLE SHELLS*

(Malik puts his turtle shell on his back)

Inuyasha: Muten Roshi! Muten Roshi! Teach me the Kamehameha wave, please?

**buzz**

*KAGOME AND SANOSUKE HAVE TWO WOODEN POLES*

Kagome: (walks on stage and steps on the pole.) AUGH!! SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE!!!

**buzz**

(Malik and Inuyasha pretend to surf on their turtle shells)

Malik: Cowabunga, dudes!

**buzz**

(Sanosuke walks in and stares at his pole on the floor)

Sanosuke: All right, whose bright idea was it to glue all of my chopsticks together?!

*buzz*

Inuyasha: Rather large hats, don't you think?

Malik: (nods)

**buzz**

(Kagome holds her pole horizontal and pretends to pass out drinks with her other hand) 

Kagome: Drinks! Drinks! Drinks! Come and get yer drinks, only 200 dollars a mug!

**buzz**

Inuyasha: What kind of chair _is_ this?!

**buzz**

Sanosuke: Man, Maco's gonna be pissed when he finds out that we stole his spear!

**buzz**

Malik: I'd hate to see the snail this shell came from.

**buzz**

(Kagome holds her pole straight and she and Sanosuke pretend to pledge to it)

Kagome and Sanosuke: OH CANADA!!!

***buzz buzz buzz***

Sanosuke: That's it for Whose Time Period Is it Anyway?!! See ya next time!! 

Crowd: (cheers)

VOTE!!!

Next Show: 

Host: Sanosuke or Sesshomaru

Contestant from Present Day: Kagome or Jonouchi

Contestant from Sengoku Jidai: Inuyasha (regular, can't change)

Contestant from Meiji Revolution: Kenshin, Misao, or Sanosuke

Contestant from Ancient Egypt: Malik, Yami or Isis

or!!!

Contestant from the Future (instead of Ancient Egypt or Present Day): Tsukasa (.hack//SIGN), Domon (G-Gundam) or Ed (Cowboy Bebop).


	2. Special Fushigi Yugi Version!

**Special Fushigi Yugi Style Whose Time Period Is it Anyway?!**

Disclaimer: I don't own _Fushigi Yugi_. That would be Yuu Watase. I also don't own any other anime I might have mentioned and conveniently forgotten about. 

Author's Notes: Soon, I will (hopefully) be posting Chapter three, which is back to the different shows system. Though, I might end up just doing a Special Inuyasha Style WTPIIA, and a Rurouni Kenshin WTPIIA, and so on and so forth for most of the anime I've seen. Then again, I won't. I do know that I'll have the next chapter posted sometime between now and December. But don't hold me to that. I might spontaneously decide to go back on my spree for writing Digimon fanfiction, you never know...

Host: Hotohori

Contestants: Tamahome, Tasuki, Chichiri and Nuriko (originally, at least)

Random Guest Stars: the rest of the Suzaku and the Seiryu Seven

Audience: As always, RANDOM ANIME PEOPLE!! 

Hotohori: Good evening everybody, and welcome to The Special Fushigi Yugi Style Whose Time Period Is it Anyway?! On tonight's show...

The Teal Haired Tall Guy...Tamahome!!

The Sake guzzling Fire Haired Guy...Tasuki!!

The Blue Haired Bishie Monk...Chichiri, you know?!

And...

The Purple Haired Guy that Can't Figure out Which Sex He is...Nuriko!

Nuriko: HEY!! I resemble that remark!!

Hotohori: And I'm your host, the most beautiful being in creation, the mighty Emperor Hotohori! Come on down, let's have some fun!

Nuriko: *fangirlishly* Yes, lets!!!

Hotohori: ...you stay away from me!

Nuriko: Awww! You're no fun!

Hotohori: *sits down at his spectacular, decorative, spiffycool desk with a comfy chair* Welcome to Whose Time Period Is it Anyway?, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are JUST like Miboshi! They don't matter!

Everyone: *Cracks up at Miboshi's expense, who sulks in a corner crying*

Hotohori: I'll be handing out points throughout the night, but keep in mind the fact that the _points don't matter_ and the winner will be whoever I feel like. With this crew, it might end up being the contestant that is still _alive_ at the end of the night...

*Audience laughs*

Hotohori: All right, let's start things off with a game called World's Worst. All four contestants have to stand on the World's Worst step and make up the World's Worst lines of dialogue about a random topic. And our random topic for today is...The World's Worst Wishes to Suzaku. Okay, let's start!

Tamahome: *mocking Nuriko* Suzaku, make me a girl! *buzz*

Nuriko: *angrily mocking Tamahome* Suzaku, change the mark on my forhead to something besides "Little Ghost", please?!

Tamahome: GRRR!!!!

Tasuki: *rolling on the floor laughing*

Chichiri: Uh oh, now he's mad, you know!?

Tamahome: *lunges at Nuriko, who gets into a battle stance*

**Scene promptly changes to a still with extremely bad animation of two guys apparently fixing a broken TV. The words "Technical difficulties, please wait" are plastered at random on the screen.**

Hotohori: And we're back to the special Fushigi Yugi style Whose Time Period is it Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. *camera pans out to reveal a tied, gagged, and thoroughly angry Tamahome in a straightjacket sitting beside his desk.* Due to technical difficulties, we have temporarily replaced Tamahome with Amiboshi of the Seiryu Seven. I hope this does not offend/scare any readers, 'cause y'know Amiboshi is the cool and NON evil twin. 

Amiboshi: *blinks*

Hotohori: Now, while the medics prepare a few shots of Valium for poor Tamahome here, let's continue with a game called Unlikely Superheroes! Again this is for all four of you. Chichiri will start. Now, what's a good unlikely Superhero name for Chichiri?

Nakago: *in audience* STUPID MAN!!

Hotohori: *glares at him* Tasuki?

Tasuki: *evil grin* With pleasure!! REKKA SHINEN!!! *Nakago is burned to a crisp*

ArtikGato: *also in the audience* Compulsive Booty Dancer Man!

Hotohori: Oh, authoress, you have an evil mind. I like it!

ArtikGato: ^_^ 

Chichiri: Why me, you know?!

Hotohori: Now what is a good crisis for "Compulsive Booty Dancer Man"? *other contestants and audience are cracking up at poor Chichiri's expense*

Soi: *also in the audience* There is a shortage of magical kasas! (hats)

Chichiri: O_O EVIL!!!!

Hotohori: All right! There is a severe shortage of magical kasas, Compulsive Booty Dancer Man, what will you do?!

Chichiri: You will all pay for this...*sighs and gets into character* *booty dances on stage from the right* *everyone cracks up*

Hotohori: *buzz* Sorry, we'll have to pause this for a second...*collapses into a fit of uncontrollable laughter*

FIVE MNUTES LATER!!!!

Hotohori: Okay, I believe we are ready to resume. *snickers*

Chichiri: *extremely embarrased* *suddenly gets back into character* *booty dances around for a while* Let's see what we have on the Crisis Monitor! *pretends to turn on a tv while still booty dancing* *suddenly stops dancing* Oh my!! There is a severe shortage in magical kasas!! Oh what will I do?!

*Tasuki suddenly enters*

Tasuki: *snickering* Here I am!

Chichiri: Thank Suzaku you're here, Random Seiryu Senshi Man!

Tasuki: *grumbles, but also gets into character* Sorry I was so late, but I was too busy scaring little children and torturing people. *suddenly turns to face in the opposite direction that he was facing before* *high pitched* Oh Nakago-sama!! You are so sexy!! *turns back around* *low pitched* Why thank you, Soi, but please stay at least five feet away from me. *turns in a NEW direction!* *cackles gaily* HI!! I'm TOMO!!

*everyone is once again cracking up*

*Amiboshi is pushed on stage by Nuriko, only since Nuriko can't push like a normal person, he goes flying off across the stage and into the audience on the other side.*

Nuriko: Whoops...

Hotohori: D***** NURIKO!!!

Mitsukake: (resident paramedic/doctor/nurse/surgeon/ect) *checks him* He's out cold.

Hotohori: Crap. Okay, umm... Chiriko!! You fill in for Amiboshi! *Chiriko runs on from back stage* 

Chiriko: Yay! I'm on the show! 

Tasuki: *confused until now* Wow! It's the Flying Kamikaze Moose!

Chiriko: *claps hands together* Joy! Mooses are spectacular animals! *suddenly begins to zoom around making moose-ey sounds and dive-bombing at Tasuki and Chichiri.*

Hotohori: All right...WHO GAVE CHIRIKO SUGAR?!

ArtikGato: I did...

Hotohori: *actively supressing rage* Oh...I see...

**Scene promptly changes to a still with extremely bad animation of two guys apparently fixing a broken TV. The words "Technical difficulties, please wait" are plastered at random on the screen.**

Hotohori: *annoyedly* Welcome back...again...to the special Fushigi Yugi Show of Whose Time Period is It Anyway, the show that has been experiencing a GREAT many technical difficulties lately, most having to do with spastic contestants!!! *glares at Nuriko*

Nuriko: What did **I** do?!

Hotohori: Never mind... *camera pans away from him to show that Tamahome, who has now fallen asleep gagged, tied, straightjacket-ed and now tranquilized. Beside him sits Chiriko who also wears a straightjacket and is tied and gagged.*

Hotohori: Due to MORE technical difficulties, we have had to replace Tamahome, our original contestant, with Amiboshi, who Nuriko accidentally knocked unconcious, Chiriko, who was overly hyper due to the authoress, and now Suboshi, who is not exactly happy with this turn of events.

Suboshi: *glaring at Nuriko* Not happy?! WHY OH WHY would you say that?! This bozo knocked my dear older brother unconcious AND I have to get along with the Suzaku idiots!

Hotohori: *death glare* Be glad that the authoress has wisely taken away all of our weapons, or I would _so_ kick your ass!!

Suboshi: BRING IT!!

**Scene promptly changes to a still with extremely bad animation of two guys apparently fixing a broken TV. The words "Technical difficulties, please wait" are plastered at random on the screen.**

Hotohori: Welcome back, FY special Whose Time...yadda yadda yadda. Due to technical difficulties beyond our immediate control, we have had to replace our original contestant Tamahome with Amiboshi, Chiriko, and Suboshi. Fortunately, Amiboshi has been forcefully awakened, via the cold water method. In other words, just pretend like the previous page or so of story never even existed.

*camera pans out to show Tamahome laying face first on the floor, Chiriko curled up next to him (both of them in straightjackets, by the way), and Suboshi who has about ten gajillion miles of rope around him due to the fact that Tasuki burned all of our remaining straightjackets.*

Tasuki: *whistles innocently*

Hotohori: Now we will continue our original game of Unlikely Superheroes. Nuriko, I swear to Suzaku I will kill you if you knock out Amiboshi again!!

Nuriko: What?! It's not like I didn't learn my lesson last time!

Amiboshi: *sidles quickly away from her*

Hotohori: Let's continue all ready!

Tasuki: Oh my goodness!! It's Fushigi Yugi In Ten Minutes Man!

Amiboshi: *sighs**imitating Miaka* I'm hungry! *imitating Yui* Get over it. Let's go to the library. *Miaka* Ooh, secret strange forbidden book! *imitating Yui* Oooh, pretty red light! *imitating Tamahome* I saved you, now give me money! *continues like this in the background*

Chichiri: *booty dances up to Tasuki* Random Seiryu Senshi Man, we have a problem!

Tasuki: *imitating Ashitare...THE HORROR!!!* I don't care. I have to kill Nuriko and be hated by millions of Fushigi Yugi fans.

Chichiri: But the world is out of magical kasas! What ever will I do?!

Nuriko: *enters...finally!* I have the answer to your problem!

Amiboshi: *takes a break from reciting summaries of FY* Oh goodness! It's Laughs Uncontrollably At Everything Guy!

Nuriko: *bursts out laughing*

Chichiri: So, what is the answer to my problem, you know?

Nuriko: *stares at him for a second and then bursts out laughing again*

Chichiri: HEY! *booty dances over to Nuriko* What is so funny?! And what is the solution to my problem?!

Nuriko: *collapses to the ground laughing*

Tasuki: *cackling gaily like Tomo*

Amiboshi: *immitating Ashitare* Me kill you. *imitating Nuriko* The Hell you will! *imitating Ashitare* Roar! *imitiating Nuriko* Well...what do you know, you inflicted me with a fatal injury! *Miaka* Please don't die Nuriko! *Nuriko* You won't get rid of me that easily...well, maybe you will. *Miaka* Nuriko! *Tamahome* Let's bury him and move on with our lives. *Miaka* Oh Nuriko, I am so very sad!

Nuriko: *rolling on the ground in a fit of laughter*

Tasuki: *imitating Nakago* Well...I'm off. I have to torture more innocent prisoners and scare more random children. Sayonara! *leaves*

Chichiri: Wait! What about the magical kasa shortage, no da?!

Amiboshi: *Miaka* Oh Tamahome, I found you again! *Tamahome* And I found you again! Yay! *takes a deep breath as if out of air* Well, I'm done with THAT! See you later! *leaves*

Nuriko: *manages to stand and stagger away while laughing uncontrollably *

Chichiri: ...well, as long as I've got my trusty kasa, I suppose it doesn't matter if there's a shortage!

*buzz*

Hotohori: One thousand points to Nuriko, Amiboshi, and Tasuki. One gazillion points to Chichiri for booty dancing...

Chichiri: *blushes*

ArtikGato and a Squadron of Chichiri Fangirls: SQUEE!!!

Hotohori: Minus one million points to Tamahome, Chiriko and Suboshi...who fortunately aren't concious at this point to hear that...Now let's go on to a game that I like to call Party Quirks!! This is for all four of you. Nuriko will be hosting a party, and Tasuki, Amiboshi and Chichiri will be the guests. The catch is, the three guests have strange quirks or identities that are written on those cards they are reading. I'll bring in each guest with the doorbell...which I control!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Everyone: *stares at him*

Hotohori: Ahem...start the party!

Nuriko: Okay, I've got the food, the music...what am I missing? OH!! The Sacrificial Chicken!

Audience: *laughs*

*ding dong*

Nuriko: Yoo yoo!! Sir Clucks-A-Lot!

*ding dong*

Nuriko: I know you're in here!

*DING DONG!!!*

Nuriko: All right, all right! *goes over and opens the imaginary door*

Tasuki: *AN EIGHT YEAR OLD GIRL SEARCHING FOR HER LOST DOLLY* Hiya!! Haf you seen Miss Blinkey?

All Females in the Audience/Known Galaxy: AWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tasuki: *glares at Hotohori*

Nuriko: No...little boy?

Hotohori: You're close.

Tasuki: Miss Blinkey!! Where are you!!

*ding dong*

Nuriko: *opens imaginary door* Ah! Amiboshi!

Amiboshi: *NURIKO FANGIRL* *shudders and gets into character* Omigod!! It's Nuriko!! KAWAII!!! *glomps him*

Nuriko: Ummm....

Tasuki: Hey mister, haf you seen Miss Blinkey?

Amiboshi: *insulted* I am NOT a man!! How dare you even say that?! *Nuriko tip-toes away* Nuriko-sama!!! Where are you going?! *chases after Nuriko*

Nuriko: AGH!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FANGIRL!!

*buzz buzz* 

Hotohori: That's correct!

Tasuki: *sniffles* WAAAAHHHHHHH!!! WHERE IS MISS BLINKEY?!

*ding dong*

Nuriko: *opens the imaginary door again*

Chichiri: *MIAKA* *femeninely* I'm hungry!!!! Oh, Tamahome, where are you?!

Nuriko: Oh! Miaka! Glad you could make it!

*buzz buzz*

Tasuki: Oh, how will I EVER have a tea party without Miss Blinkey?!

Nuriko: You can borrow Chiriko, little girl.

*buzz buzz*

Hotohori: Excellent!! One hundred gazillion points to Amiboshi for glomping Nuriko. And 100 points to Tasuki for acting like a little girl. You're just so good at it.

Tasuki: *eyebrow twitches* You're one to speak, there, Hotohori.

Hotohori: No, I only LOOK femenine, while you ACT femenine well!

Tasuki: Oh...shut up!

Nuriko: Yeah! None of you can act or look like a girl NEARLY as much as me!!

Hotohori: *about to interject when Chichiri decides to mediate* 

Chichiri: Let's wait until the costume party after the show to decide this! You guys can all come in drag, you know?

Nuriko, Tasuki, and Hotohori: *evil grins* If we're wearing drag then so are you, monk!

Chichiri: Umm... *goes SD and runs away*

ArtikGato and the Squadron of Chichiri Fangirls: CHIBI CHICHIRI!! KAWAII!!

Hotohori: *smacks himself on the head* GET BACK HERE, CHICHIRI!! WE STILL HAVE SIX MORE GAMES TO GO!!!

**Scene promptly changes to a still with extremely bad animation of two guys apparently fixing a broken TV. The words "Technical difficulties, please wait" are plastered at random on the screen.**

Hotohori: Well, we still haven't found Chichiri...annoying little SD...so we're gonna go to commercial!

COMMERCIAL

Next time on Oprah Winfrey...

Oprah: This is Yui Hongo. Two years ago, she was nearly devoured by a dragon.

Audience: *gasps*

Oprah: Her amazing story, plus three other survivors of near devourings by dragons on the next Oprah!

ANOTHER COMMERCIAL

Tomo: Hi there. I'm Tomo, one of the Seiryu Senshi, and I would just like to clear up a few misconceptions of myself. First of all, I am NOT gay!! This makeup is what gives me power, it is in no way fashionable!! Secondly, I am NOT the gay lover of Nakago. That bas**** can burn in he** for all I care. Third...SOI AND I ARE NOT SISTERS!!!! Whoever would even THINK that needs to be taken out into the street and shot!! And finally, this is worth mentioning twice, I AM NOT GAY!! Thank you for your time. 

Nuriko: *voice off screen* Tomo, dearest, are you done with your speech? It's time for my massage!

Tomo: *crazed fangirl look* COMING NAKAGO SWEETUMS!! 

YET ANOTHER COMMERCIAL

*Ashitare walks up to chibified Amiboshi and Suboshi, who just happen to be tromping around in the snow carrying firewood*

Ashitare: Yaargh haargh yeargh harr garg mearg narg nack! (translation: 'Sup dawgs. You know what? You can stick your favorite Pop-Tarts in the freezer.) 

Amiboshi and Suboshi: OO'''

Ashitare: *makes more random grunting sounds that I don't feel like writing down* (Translation: Seriously, they get all chewy and good! ...what? Why are you staring at me like I'm crazy?)

Suboshi and Amiboshi: Nakago!! Ashitare's been in your pot stash again!

Nakago: *voice off screen* DA***IT ASHITARE!!! 

Ashitare: Grargh! (Translation: SH*T!) *runs away*

Hotohori: *distressed* Welcome back to the Special Fushigi Yugi Whose Time Period Is It Anyway. Unfortunately Chichiri, one of our four contestants, is not present at this current time. Therefore, we'll have to get another cast member to take his place. Mitsukake, how is Tamahome?

Mitsukake: *tending to the still unconcious and straight-jacketed Tamahome* I'm afraid he won't be awake until at least two games from now.

Hotohori: Crap. I guess that means Chiriko and Suboshi can't fill in for him either. Okay, who do we have left?

Mitsukake: You, me, and the Seiryu Senshi minus the twins. 

Hotohori: *shudders* Well we locked Soi, Miboshi and Ashitare in a dark cell far far away, so that leaves Tomo and Nakago.

Hotohori: What about Miaka and Yui?

ArtikGato: NO PRIESTESSES ALLOWED TO PLAY!!

Hotohori: Okay. Then...umm...I don't know about you, but I'd MUCH rather have Nakago playing than Tomo. Tomo...scares me.

Mitsukake: I agree.

Everyone but Tomo: *nods*

Tomo: I AM INSULTED!!! *runs crying from the building*

Hotohori: So...Nakago...want to take Chichiri's place for a while?

Nakago: Why would I subject myself to- *is suddenly hit on the head by a Baka Mallet*

ArtikGato: I AM THE AUTHORESS, NOW I COMMAND YOU TO PLAY OR I WILL CONTINUE TO HIT YOU WITH THIS BAKA MALLET!

Nakago: *smirks and incinerates the baka mallet*

ArtikGato: *smirks and produces another baka mallet from out of nowhere*

Nakago: Eep! *runs down to the stage*

Hotohori: Now, the next game is called 'If You Know What I Mean'. This is for Amiboshi, Tasuki and Nakago. Did you notice that currently Tasuki is the ONLY contestant that is still alive? I did! Er...the way this game works is that the contestants have to use as many inuendoes as possible in the scene. And the scene is...*unfolds piece of paper* Amiboshi and Tasuki are drunk at a bar, and Nakago is the bartender.

Tasuki: *cracks his knuckles* This should be no problem for me. I have lots of experience.

Hotohori: Whatever. Start the scene.

Tasuki: Bartender -hic- another round of -hic- 'Mount Reikaku Bandits Special' if you -hic- know what I mean.

Nakago: No, I don't know what you mean. I think you're a few eggs too short of a dozen, if you know what I mean.

Tasuki: Hey!! I think you're -hic- a big fat blonde guy, if you know what I mean.

Amiboshi: Tasuki, you're whistle's a bit too wet, if you know what I mean.

Tasuki: HAH!! Shows what YOU know!! I don't even OWN a whistle!! 

Nakago: Tasuki, there's lots of stuff you don't have, if you know what I mean.

Tasuki: The ladies don't seem to think that, if -hic- you know what I mean.

Amiboshi: Ladies? I thought you hated girls...well, except Miaka, but she doesn't really count as a girl, if you know what I mean. 

Tasuki: Stop -hic- dissin' on Miaka or I'll -hic- turn your face inside -hic- out if you know what I mean. 

Nakago: Tasuki, you couldn't injure a mosquito, if you know what I mean.

Amiboshi: There's going to be a fist-throwing contest, if you know what I mean.

Tasuki: Huh?

Nakago: What an idiot. His rabbit isn't quite out of the hat, if you know what I mean.

Amiboshi: His skeletons aren't all the way in the closet, if you know what I mean.

Tasuki: His -hic- feathers aren't quite -hic- attached to the turtle, if you know what I mean.

Nakago: Get out of my bar, you drunkard!

Tasuki: Huh? I don't understand what you mean.

Nakago: I'll have you thrown on ice, if you know what I mean.

Tasuki: I'll melt the ice, if you know what **I** mean!

Amiboshi: *plays a few notes on his flute*-if you know what I mean!

*buzz buzz*

Hotohori: Well, that was...interesting. 100.5 points to Nakago for not killing ANYONE in the last scene!! And -50 38/49 to Tasuki for not being an intelligent drunk.

Nakago: Well, he's not too bright sober, so why should he be smart drunk?

Hotohori: Good point.

Tasuki: HEY!!

Hotohori: Time for the only musical game we'll play since the authoress thinks she sucks at writing song lyrics! That's right, it's time for IRISH DRINKING SONG!! This is for everybody. The four contestants, who are actually pretty good singers except Tasuki...

Tasuki: Grrr...

Hotohori: Anyway, they'll make up a song one line at a time about a random topic from the audience. And what is that topic?

Audience: *shouts many random things*

Chichiri: *who is hiding behind ArtikGato and the Squadron of Chichiri Fangirls* What the director cut out of 'The Tale of the Forbidden Women's Hot Springs Resort', you know?

*Everyone stares at Chichiri*

Hotohori: THERE YOU ARE!!! GET DOWN HERE NOW!!

Chichiri: I'll be in the next game, you know?!

Hotohori: Fine. 

Nakago: *snaps his fingers* Darn.

Hotohori: Well, let's start the 'Directors Cut Version of the Tale of the Forbidden Hot Springs Resort' Irish Drinking Song!

*ArtikGato drags Tomo over to the piano and flings him onto it, telling him to play or die*

Tomo: *begins playing music in fear*

All Four: OH AI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI!

Nuriko: The cast went on a fun little trip

Amiboshi: To some forbidden hot springs!

Nakago: But when it was filmed for sale

Tasuki: The director cut lots of things.

Nuriko: Like the famous "make-out" scene

Amiboshi: Featuring Nakago and Tomo

Nakago: *too furious to speak*

Tasuki: *cracking up* Turns out Nakago's a homo!

*Nakago attempts to kill Amiboshi and especially Tasuki*

**Scene promptly changes to a still with extremely bad animation of two guys apparently fixing a broken TV. The words "Technical difficulties, please wait" are plastered at random on the screen.**

Hotohori: *sighs* You know the drill. Whose Time Fushi style, blah blah blah. Our lovely (though not as lovely as I) and talented Authoress had to personally come down to the stage and hit Nakago on the head SEVEN times with the Baka Mallet in order to get this place back in order. Now I think we're ready for the second verse of the Irish Drinking Song, which is about the cut scenes from the Fushigi Yugi Forbidden Springs episodes, I think.

All Four: OH AI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI!

Nuriko: When everyone was dressed in drag

Amiboshi: Five of us weren't shown

Nakago: They were dressed in drag as well

Tasuki: They looked so stupid your mind would be blown!

Nuriko: Tomo had on _no _makeup

Amiboshi: Miboshi looked like a girl

Nakago: The twins just looked so femenine

Tasuki: It made me wanna hurl!

All Four: OH AI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI!

Nuriko: The biggest suprize was Ashitare

Amiboshi: For starters, he was wearing pink

Nakago: And ten layers of makeup on

Tasuki: Some painted on with ink!

*everyone looks at him, and he shrugs*

Nuriko: He wore a bow in his hair

Amiboshi: And a pink frilly dress

Nakago: His hair was shaved completely off

Tasuki: And his face was just a mess!

All Four: OH AI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI!!! OH AI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI DEE DAI!!!

Hotohori: *cracking up* That was just awesome. 100 million points to all of you!!

Audience: *cheers for no apparent reason*

Chichiri: *Goes down to the stage and changes places with Nakago, who rushes back to his seat*

Hotohori: *sighs* I just counted, and we've only FINISHED four games since we started. FOUR!!!

Chichiri: That's pathetic, you know?

Hotohori: I have a feeling all that 'technical difficulty' stuff had something to do with it. Oh well, only two more games to go!! And now it's time for Questions Only! This game is for all four of you...and beware, for this game WILL DETERMINE THE WINNER!! Though not really. I'm just saying that so that the show will seem to have a point even though it really doesn't. 

Contestants: Ahem.

Hotohori: This game is for everybody. Two people at a time make up a random scene, but the catch is that they can only use questions. Okay, start!

*Tasuki and Nuriko are on one side and Chichiri and Amiboshi are on the other. Chichiri and Nuriko step to the center*

Chichiri: Are you the president of this company, you know?

Nuriko: What's it to you?

Chichiri: Why have I been waiting here for three hours, you know?

Nuriko: Why do you say 'you know' all the time?

Chichiri: Because...I can?

*buzz*

*Amiboshi takes Chichiri's place*

Nuriko: Did you see that moose?!

Amiboshi: Moose?! Are you under the influence of drugs?

Nuriko: Do you think I am?

Amiboshi: Are you entirely sure that you're sane?

Nuriko: What's with the third degree?

Amiboshi: Why did you start the scene with a question about a moose?

Nuriko: To throw you off!

*buzz!*

Nuriko: AWW!! CRAP!!

*Tasuki takes Nuriko's place*

Tasuki: Seen any good porno's lately?

Amiboshi: WHAT?!

Tasuki: Is it wrong to try to throw you off by mentioning stuff like porno?

Amiboshi: How can you think it's not?

Tasuki: Do you like sake?

Amiboshi: ...are you coming on to me?

Tasuki: Are you coming on to ME?!

Amiboshi: I give up.

*buzz*

*Chichiri takes Amiboshi's place*

Chichiri: I wonder which one of us has more fangirls, you know?

Tasuki: How can it possibly not be me?!

Chichiri: Do you know the authoress likes me?

Tasuki: How can I not?

Chichiri: Is it that obvious?

Tasuki: How can it not be?

ArtikGato: *from the audience* HEY!

Chichiri: How many fangirls do you have, Tasuki?

Tasuki: Too many to count.

*buzz*

Tasuki: D****IT!!

*Nuriko takes Tasuki's place*

Nuriko: Is Hotohori hot or what?!

Chichiri: ...should I even dignify that with a response?

Nuriko: I wonder if he would like me more if I were a girl?

Chichiri: You think?

Nuriko: Are you being sarcastic?

Chichiri: Are you being stupid, you know?

Nuriko: ...AGH!! How can you be so IRRITATING?!

Chichiri: ...no da?

*buzz*

Hotohori: I'm giving all of you one point. Divide it amongst yourselves.

*contestants pout*

Hotohori: Well, let's go to another commercial break while we try to wake up Tamahome for the final game!

*I'm skipping the commercials 'cause I'm lazy. If you don't like it, bite me. ...WAIT!!! NOT LITERALLY!!*

Okay, I will say this...Fushigi Yugi is an awesome show!! Unfortunately it would be unfair to let any of the cast members come back for any of our normal shows, so this is all you'll get to see of them!! Fans of the less popular characters like all of the Seiryu seven except for Amiboshi and Nakago, as well as Miaka, Keisuke and Tetsuya ... sorry! ^_^'''''

Hotohori: Welcome back to the Special Fushigi Yugi Version of Whose Time Is It Anyway! Tonight's winners are Amiboshi and Nuriko! Oh and Tamahome's awake just so you know!

*Amiboshi and Nuriko are fighting over who gets to sit in the comfy chair*

Hotohori: The losers and I are going to play the authoress's favorite game in the world...SCENES FROM A HAT!! 

Audience: *cheers again for no apparent reason*

Hotohori: Nuriko or Amiboshi will read us scenes that they pick at random from this hat, and the four of us must act them out. Before the show we asked the audience to write down suggestions for scenes for this very purpose, and then we took the better ones and stuffed them in this hat. Okay, we're ready to start any time.

Nuriko: *reads first peice of paper* Unlikely scenes from _Fushigi Yugi_ to be done nude.

Tasuki: *steps out* Oh, crud! Nuriko's been killed!

*buzz*

Chichiri: *steps out* Just repeat after me, Miaka. 'The four palaces of the heavens-

*buzz*

Hotohori: *steps out* Any scene containing Nakago.

*buzz buzz*

*Everyone laughs heartily at Nakago's expense*

Nuriko: Okay, here's the next one. 'Things Tasuki would never say'.

Chichiri: *steps out* Sake? What's that?

*buzz*

Tamahome: I'm sorry, Tamahome. I'll never call you Little Ghost again.

*buzz*

Tasuki: DA!!!

*buzz buzz*

Nuriko: *laughs as he reads his card* What Taiitsukun does when no one is around.

Tamahome: *pretending to apply mascara* No, no, this shade doesn't match my shoes...

*buzz*

Tasuki: C'mon, Nyan Nyans! Let's play DRESS UP!!

*buzz* (everyone is cracking up for about thirty seconds)

Hotohori: That Konan Emperor is sure mighty good looking!

*buzz*

Chichiri: *holding up one hand and moving it along with his mouth* Hi, I'm Chichiri, you know! *does the same with the other hand* Wow, Chichiri!! You're the best monk of all time!

*buzz*

Tasuki: *mimics fiddling with a TV* Why isn't the *BEEP*ing Porno channel coming in?!

*buzz buzz*

Nuriko: *cracking up* Outtakes from the OAV's.

Hotohori: *walks over to where Nuriko is sitting and "pretends" to make out with him*

Yaoi Fans In The Audience: YAY!!

Tomo: Oh goody!! Those two make SUCH a good couple!

Nuriko: ^_____________________________________________________________________^

Hotohori: Oh...now I feel sick...

Amiboshi: *crawls back to the desk while Nuriko is distracted and withdraws the next slip of paper* 'What would happen if Nuriko "accidentally" fell into the "Spring of Drowned Woman" from Ranma 1/2'

*Chichiri and Tasuki walk to the center of the stage*

Chichiri: *mocking Nuriko* Oh you're highness!! I am a girl now!!

Tasuki: *mocking Hotohori* Really now? *pulls Chichiri off stage*

*buzz buzz buzz buzz*

Hotohori: Well, now that THAT is over...everyone who was at one point or another a contestant come down and take a bow!

*Tamahome, Hotohori, Nuriko, Chichiri, Tasuki, Chiriko (who is now concious), Nakago, Amiboshi, and Suboshi (who is also concious) all go and take bows and stuff!*

ArtikGato: Thank you for reading The Fushigi Yugi Special Whose Time Period Is It Anyway?! I promise we'll PROBABLY go back to normal next chapter!

Everybody: BYE EVERYONE!! (Chichiri: You know!)

As always, review!! And at some point in your review mention your favorite character (and which show he or she is from), and even if I have absolutely no idea who you're talking about, I'll use him or her ANYWAY!! (as a random audience member, at the very least!) And, to keep the tradition of Whose Line in my fic, feel free to suggest topics for Scenes From A Hat (which I'll do once a chapter until the end of time since I LOVE that game!). Okies? Okies!! See ya in a while, you know!


End file.
